Having my parents and boyfriend stay in my apartment this week has made me realize how insanely loud my dog Ilya's wagging tail can be in the morning. It's a hilarious problem to have, following my dog around the house holding her tail while trying to calm her down. Of course the more attention I give her, the more she wags; the more she wags, the more I stifle my laughter trying to control her; and the more I laugh? You guessed it. The more she wags. It's a daily vicious cycle and it brought me to the old Google to try and find a solution.

As you may have foreseen, all of the solutions for out-of-control tail wagging are either alarming or hilarious. One of the options is behavioral modification, which I'm guessing is more for anxious wagging than overly joyous morning routines. Another solution (and this is where I shook my head) is CHOPPING OFF THEIR TAIL which I know is common practice among some breeds but is really disturbing to consider as a solution for a broken vase or bruised tail!

My favorite solution, one I think is hysterically simple, is the Tail Bandit, a simple leash strapped around your pup's stomach and attached to his tail between the hind legs, constricting your dog's wag range and therefore solving all of life's problems. Here's a picture of the problem and the solution, for your viewing pleasure from Tail Bandit's website:


I most appreciate the bloody tail. Luckily Ilya has never gotten quite that exuberant, probably because I'm playing the part of the tail bandit stomach leash.