It's that time of the year again - everyone is freakin' out about 20-year-old boys throwing balls at baskets and betting on which boys will do it better than others. Sports!

I've never participated in March Madness brackets before, and I've always marveled at how obsessed people get with their picks, checking back, revising, getting all excited about proceeding to the next week with their predictions.

This year is different! Apparently enough people care about college basketball at Townsquare Media that we can register to participate in March Madness for free, and play for the chance to win a $500 party for the home office of the player with the most points. If someone manages to guess 60+ game outcomes correctly, they win $10,000! And, as unlikely as it may be, a perfect bracket wins the participant ONE MEEELLION DOLLARS!!

I got nothin' to lose, I figured. So I registered for March Madness for the first time in my life. The only thing is, I have no clue about basketball, colleges, seeding (I had to ask Lori if that was the right term), sports in general... so as in any time of pure helplessness, I turned to the streets to seek help from Portlanders.

I started out with basketball-related questions posing mascots against each other, and then strayed to other "would you rather" inquiries...