Machete-wielding lawn chair theif: 0. Woman with garden hoe: 1.

GET READY... This is a true story.

Police arrested Dwight Nathan Hart of Bingham, Maine on Sunday after he allegedly threatened a woman with a machete as he was trying to steal her lawn chairs.

Only in Maine.

Police say the incident started as Mr. Hart backed his pickup truck into the unnamed woman's yard around 6pm. When he started loading her lawn furniture into his truck, she confronted him with a garden hoe.

And now for the best part - a direct quote from Chief Deputy James Ross of the Somerset County Sheriff's Office:

He actually hit the hoe several times."

Deputy Ross goes on to say that the crazy man actually made contact with the garden tool multiple times.

Yeah, the deputy actually saw machete marks on the hoe's handle."

The woman was able to take her lawn furniture out of the truck, but not before she got his license plate and called the cops.

There were no bad injuries, but the sheriff's department did say that the woman managed to strike the assailant several times with her hoe.

You just can't make this stuff up.

This dangerous criminal is being held on $500 bail, at the Somerset County Jail.

Anyone want to go spring him? Make sure to bring the garden tools.

No lawn chairs were harmed in the making of this news report.