Please Help My ‘Huge Boobed’ Friend Find A Bra!

Kirsten is one of the funniest, most giving people you will ever meet. She's been outrageous in her help with Cans for a Cure. Now it's time for me to try and help her...find a bra that fits!

Kristen is from Food City in Bridgton. She and the store and the community have gone out of their way to collect bottles and cans for the upcoming 'Cans for a Cure'. Look at this shed they built!

I've been working with Kirsten for years and she always makes me smile. Today, she damn near made me pee my pants with this email!

Here's the full text:

Hey Lori,

Hope all is well with you and yours!

2 things....we actually have had some people dropping off bottles into our shed!!! Woo Hoo!!! I am going to ask people in our community to supply me with names and or photos of people who have battled cancer so that we can put a personal spin on our drop off box. (so that it can hit home) I will put their names and faces on the box either in memory of those who lost their battle or in honor of those still fighting the battle to show a sense of support from their neighbors and friends!!!

But more importantly (haha, not really but)....I am 49 yrs old and I have made a commitment to myself to get fit by 50...HELP!!! I, as you know have gigantic boobs (or maybe you didn't notice the enormity of them)...I love to run but my boobs don't... the last time I ran my daughter was standing at the end of our road and as soon as she noticed I was running, she immediately did the motion to tell me to stop (as she was motioning to her own boobs) the look on her face was that of someone who just saw something vulgar, gross, life changing, ya know one of those things that you can't UN-SEE! At any rate, my question to you is this, Could you Please, I am begging you to ask your listeners where on God's green earth do I find a sports bra with a built in "I" beam to hold those bad girls up. I was wearing 2 bras the day my daughter witnessed that horrific event...I implore your listeners to help me in finding a proper fitting sports bra that will actually do its job! Help me to get fit by safely running the roads of Bridgton without having to wear an invisibility cloak!!!! (primarily for the safety for drivers or passers by) I need a good sports brad that will allow me to move while keeping my girls strapped down... I prefer no duct tape as that will hurt to remove but will go that route if need be..

Lori, you are the best and I appreciate your help hahahahah help me get fit by 50!!!!

 

So, who can help poor Kirsten in her goal to get fit by 50 and find a sports bra that fits?