Weekend Included: Blood, Fear and Chinese Food – [VIDEO – LANGUAGE]

It was quite the weekend. Thankfully, no upsetting call from my parents. But it did start with a trip to Wayne and Scott's (my girlfriends) and Cards Against Humanity. Have you ever played?

It is described as 'a card game for horrible people.' God, it's so true. Don't believe me? Check out this scenario:

We laughed so hard! This with a ton of Chinese food and a wine coolers. Yes, you read that right, wine coolers. Remember - they're gay.

Here's some insight into the 'boys'. They have a wicked sense of humor. Wayne once tried to get me back for something by trying to have my car stolen. I'm just setting the stage for them scaring Jen. Oh, it was a good one. At the end of the night we were in their basement and Wayne said, 'Jen...can you open the door to let the dog out?' Now..what happened was hysterical...but Jen did swear a little...so you've been warned.

So, what did Jen see when she opened the door to let the dog out?

Some foam mannequin that Wayne had. No, I did not ask...because I did not want to know.

That was Friday night. Saturday night, after a day of running around, Jen and I decided to go to Empire Chinese Kitchen in Portland.

It was getting late and we ran around doing errands all day and we thought, we'll go - order take out and have a drink and app at the bar while waiting. Perfect! But the drink we had was bigger and took longer than our food took to cook! So, we started eating our take out at the bar. The bartender (Erik) was super nice and the mojito was yummy. It had cucumber and saki...anywhoooo, we ended up eating our entire meal at the bar out of take out containers! A first! It was a hoot.

That brings us to Sunday. Another day of getting stuff done, like the lawn. Which I rarely get to do, because Jen came with a riding lawn mower and she normally does it. I am always jealous and want to. Well, she was running errands for something I will tell you about tomorrow. Anyway, I got to mow the lawn. It's friggin fun. Except when you have to move stuff. There was this big board and I dropped it on my leg.

So there I was, moving a board, it fell on my leg...yada, yada, yada - I end up with a flesh wound.

It hurt like a mofo, but not enough to stop me. Although, if I played my cards right, I may have been able to get a day off!  But alas....moving on.

Dinner time. Something I had been looking forward to since I thought of it:

• steak on the grill
• corn on the cob
• sauteed mushrooms
• asparagus
• twice baked potatoes

And...something that for some reason I got stuck in my head and couldn't get out!

I haven't had Heinz 57 since I was a kid. And to be honest with you, I have no clue how it got stuck in my head - but I wanted it. No, I needed it.

It tasted pretty much the same I remembered and I loved it! I put it on everything! It was a nice trip down memory lane. It was a hectic weekend...all to get ready for Monday. More on that...on Monday....