Likes: cigarettes, beer, food stamps, and really loud death metal. Dislikes: laws, cats, working, goals.

...Ladies? Sound like the man for you?

This craigslist post from some dude "on the market" in Bar Harbor will either make you bust out laughing, or squirm at the thought of actually going there.

Hey ladies, it's your lucky day. Because if you're reading this, that means I'm still available... I'm active unemployed and loving it, let the taxpayer chumps pay the bill... I'm all natural, so grooming isn't really my thing... I have no vehicle and a suspended license, so you need to have a car..."

Just remember.... Age: 35. Body: Big.