5 Things You’ll See in Every Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie

This year alone, the Hallmark Channel has produced 34 brand new Christmas movies to add to the over 100 they already have that are running now until the new year in my house. As hard as I try, I can't avoid them. I have noticed over the past few days that there are 5 things you'll see in every one of Hallmark's Christmas movies.

1. Fake snow. LOTS of fake snow.

Christmas movies are never shot during the winter. That means that there is a LOT of fake snow. Being rugged Mainers, we can spot fake snow like a pro. One movie titled Finding Santa has a scene where the roads are so bad that a couple needs to get off the roads and find a place to stay for the night. To make it look like they are in the middle of a blizzard in June, the camera had to use a technique called forced perspective by shooting what looked like cotton very close to the camera while a car moved in the background. When you're shooting 34 movies in year, you don't have time to wait for the snow to pile up and you don't have the budget for computer generated snow effects.

2. Over the top Christmas decorations

I get it. It's Christmas. These home decorations though are just ridiculous. Macy's in New York doesn't decorate like these movies do. In our house we had a fake tree, a plastic light up Santa and cardboard pictures of eight tiny reindeer.

3. A female cast member of Full House

To be honest, this isn't true of every Hallmark Christmas Movie, but if you're a fan of Full House, you're going to get a heaping helping of DJ, Stephanie and Rebecca. Candice Cameron Bure, Jodie Sweeten and Lori Loughlin have all been in more than one Hallmark Christmas Movie. Loughlin is practically the face of the Hallmark Channel. Hallmark execs know their audience.

4. Two unlikely couples finding love

You can't have a Christmas Movie without romance right? Hallmark Christmas Movies always find it in the most unlikely place. Here's the description of the movie Christmas at the Palace.

"Katie, a former professional ice skater, is hired by the king of San Senova, Alexander, to help his daughter in a Christmas ice skating performance. As Katie spends time in the castle and with the king, she and Alex begin to develop feelings for each other and ultimately fall in love."

San Senova? Try finding that on a globe. It sounds more like a state that might secede from California.

5. Characters who don't know how to dress for winter

Most of these movies take place somewhere New England. Vermont and Connecticut seem to be favorites, but you wouldn't know it by the way they're dressed. An open leather jacket and a shirt a tie? Dude's going to freeze his chestnuts off. Dress like real New Englanders do with Bean boots, thick gloves, and hats that say "Tom's Wrecker Service" on them. As pointed out back at item number one, these are being filmed in the summer, but you're not convincing us you're in the woods of Vermont in a blizzard wearing that getup.