If You Were in Whole Foods in Portland, Maine, and Got Bumped Into, My Cute Friend Wants Your Number

Are you the Whole Foods Hottie?

Hi, guys. My friend called me to tell me she found her future husband, but she just didn't introduce herself.

Instead, she bumped into him, was too shy to say anything, and then friggen called me.

She may not have taken the risk in the glorious hot bar line, but I will.

I'm on a mission to find this apparently "gorgeous" man my girl bumped into while crafting her perfect little salad in Whole Foods in Portland, Maine.

She saw you, immediately crushed on you, but was too nervous to make a move. I'm making her move for her.

Are you about 6 feet tall with a brown beard, freckles, and a green flat-brim hat? Were you giving yourself anxiety walking around the Whole Foods hot bar yesterday wondering if any of the staff members caught you picking a mushroom out of your cardboard box to eat before you pay? No? Is that part just me?

READ MORE: 25 Maine Restaurants to Enjoy a Romantic Meal

OK, if this little article gets to you in some way, shape, or form, can you please reach out to me so I can play Cupid and put you two in touch for a date?

If you're single, of course.

My friend is a 5'4-ish blonde girl who was so socially awkward she bumped into you and didn't even say excuse me because your beauty threw her through a loop.

Did a blonde girl bump into you in the hot bar line yesterday and then scamper away? Is this you? Could this be your friend? Let's find this man. This is hilarious.

You watch, we're gonna find him, and they're gonna end up getting married. How fun.

Hope to hear from you soon Whole Foods Hottie. DM me.

Sidenote, great new parking lot, Whole Foods. Love it. Very classy.