Welcome to America, where we don't take things like climate change or campaign finance reform seriously..... but wait! Is that a large rodent crawling out of a hole? HOORAY! Let me put on a top coat and hat and pretend to talk to it! THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Earlier this morning, as is tradition, men in formal morning wear pulled the groundhog out of its cage in rural Pennsylvania and it "spoke" to them. This year, according to the president of the "Punxsutawney Groundhog Club," (yes, that's a real thing), Phil the groundhog has been riding around on a hover board and flying a drone in his spare time. Don't believe me? Just watch:

If you're as disillusioned with the current state of affairs in America as I am, you might not want to watch the video above, where thousands of people cheer on an overgrown rat that they believe can predict the future.

I wonder what the rat thinks of Donald Trump?

Did you catch all of the jokes on the Q today? We may have taken a few requests from "Ned Ryerson" on the All Request Lunch...

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