So, Jen took advantage of the little sunshine we had this weekend and cleaned up her 1973 VW Westfalia Van. It was some sorta dirty! It had been in storage for the winter, so five months of grime. 

I was inside cooking when I thought I'd go check on her. She was on a ladder, leaning way over and cleaning the roof of the van. While I was there, here phone rang. Deciding to help, I stuck my hand in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

This is where things started going in slow motion....because I somehow fumbled the phone and dumped it right into the full bucket of dirty soapy water! INTO THE WATER!  Noooooooooooo!

I grabbed that phone like it was a newborn baby! I rubbed it all over my shirt, removed the cover, and blew life into every hole! I was like a human can of air! Meanwhile, Jen had run into the house to look for rice to stick the phone in it! You know the ol trick. We didn't have rice...we had orzo.

Orzo is not rice. Orzo is rice shaped pasta. Guess what? It didn't work - the phone was dead...I KILLED JEN'S PHONE BY BEING AN IDIOT!

I was heartbroken. Jen? She was pretty cool and seemed actually fine. But I was just devastated. So, I picked up her dead phone and did the old push the belly button and on button at the same time...and guess what...this appeared!

I did it! I breathed actual life into the phone! And guess what? It's still working! I don't know if it was the rice shaped pasta, or my human can of air blowing, or just plain luck. But seriously..full on complete submersion into a bucket of dirty (really dirty) soapy water and it's working!

As my father would so elegantly say, 'I have a horse shoe up my ass.' Yes, he is a poet.