My Boyfriend Was Able to Extend His Maine Vacation in the Most Painful Way
We all know the feeling. You're reaching the end of vacation and the dread of returning to your everyday life begins to set in.
If you're desperate, you might ease the transition by claiming a sick day after you return home, blame travel complications, or work remotely.
My boyfriend Andrew, who had come up from Boston to settle me into my new job on the Q Morning Show, got creative with his extension.
I had taken my dog Ilya out for a final walk before saying goodbye to Andrew while he packed up his bag to head home. Upon rounding the corner of my apartment, I found him doubled over at the foot of the stairs.
At this point, I should mention that my apartment is a three floor walk-up with freshly painted, steeeeep stairs. I'm talkin' hang-on-to-the-banister-for-dear-life, consider-going-down-them-backwards-like-a-ladder steep. I don't know who at the hardware store recommended high-gloss paint for a three-story apartment's former servant stairwell in a city known for its persistent winters, but they should really re-examine their advice.
Andrew, venturing down the stairs (for the first time facing forward, I might add) had slipped halfway and tumbled down 10+ stairs, charging his left arm into his shoulder and ending up with a gnarly-looking bump of bone under the skin where there definitely shouldn't be.
Switching gears and realizing he would be spending another night in Portland - possibly in the hospital - we fed our pup dinner and awkwardly struggled into the car to rush to the hospital. Our doctor friend at Maine Med said their emergency room was swamped, so we headed to Mercy Hospital and hoped for the best (no blood means long wait, right?)
Mercy got us in right away asking the important questions, getting X-rays, hooking Andrew up to some quality pain juice and negotiating his dislocated shoulder back into place. All of five minutes and a sickening *POP!* later, the suspicious bone lump was gone and his shoulder was back to looking normal, albeit very sore.
Best of all, Andrew had the presence of mind before leaving to ask for his x-rays which I promptly stole from him and have posted below (with his permission, don't freak out).
These may be the best before and after x-rays I have ever seen. There's no question what happened here; first there's no shoulder, and then - TADAA! - a shoulder again. Props to this fella for keeping his cool between sharp teeth-clenched inhales and for coming up with a very creative excuse to stay in Portland another day!
DISCLAIMER: This blog intended for entertainment value only. It should not be taken as guidance to cause self-harm via stairwell to extend one's vacation.