Recently, a study was released that supports my hypothesis that everyone has been lying about newborns being cute. Research out of Brock University indicates that we typically find babies cutest around the age of 6 months, which pretty perfectly sums up my spirit animal of a niece, Everett.

My nephew Theo was born a couple years ago looking like a Gerber model, smiling in his sleep and chirping adorably at strangers who ogled him endlessly.

Everett, on the other hand, was born last summer looking--how should I put this-- much more relatable. Next to her older brother's picture perfect baby photos, she milked her audience for laughs with downright trollish scowls of skepticism rivaled only, perhaps, by a baby diagnosed with Benjamin Button's disease.

After being completely in love though mildly annoyed with my nephew's insanely beautiful dollface created by his equally perfect mom and dad, my love for this ham sandwich of a niece had my heart growing three times its size. "Finally," I thought, "I have a horse in the race!" I'd been waiting for my cartoonishly expressive face to take root in the offspring of my immediate family at some point, and I couldn't have been more amused by the endless ghastly looks this tiny human threw around the room. I knew she'd grow conventionally attractive in time, but I drank in those first few months of pure comedic genius.

You'll see from the picture below that she's blossomed in no time into an adorable blue-eyed babe, but I'll never forget the faces she came up with. She had me in tears at my sense of admiration and solidarity.

Lou, Townsquare Media
Lou, Townsquare Media

The point is, if your beloved baby comes out looking like your friend's judgmental Korean grandfather, don't fret. On the contrary, embrace every moment. Before long, those comedic faces will fade into another run-of-the-mill adorable baby, and only a select few will maintain the comedic skills to recreate those looks on occasion (thank God, Everett still has The Gift of an expressive face). Also, while we're at it, can we stop lying to each other that newborns are adorable? They're generally smoosh-faced, traumatized, crying lumps of flesh. Precious miracles, yes. But not pretty ones.



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