Hate Maine Winter? Then Why Do You Live Here?
I love living in Maine.
I have spent the majority of my life here. There are several reasons why I love to call Maine home. These include the beautiful landscapes, lack of people, and virtually no traffic (waiting for 15 minutes on Forest Ave is not traffic. Try living on the Beltway in DC).
One of the best aspects about living here is the winter. Gorgeous snowstorms, epic alpine and Nordic skiing, cozying up by a woodstove, wearing a scarf and Bean boots, challenging mountain hikes, extra blankets on the bed, and homemade soups and stews all help make Maine winters so very special.
However, Maine is also known for one of the most annoying things about winter: nonstop complaining from miserable people.
I bring this up because Paunxatawney Phil was back in the news recently. The puffy prognosticator saw his shadow, which means a prediction of at least six more weeks of winter. This is the most wonderful news for Mainers and the industries here that survive on it. However, you would never know it, because you all are miserable.
I have zero patience for Mainers who hate the winter. I'm not sure if you all know this, but Maine is located in the Northern Hemisphere. It's over 3,000 miles from the Equator. This means you have voluntarily chosen to live in a state that gets cold and messy when October comes around, and typically lasts until mid-April. That's a long stint of inclement weather, but it's been like that in Maine since...I don't know...the beginning of man?
So, if you all hate winter, why are you all here? Why would you all subject yourself to a climate that doesn't jive with your way of life? Are all of you just weather masochists? Do you all enjoy hating life daily until it warms up? What kind of psycho behavior is that?
I can already hear you all saying, "But Chris, where am I supposed to go, it's expensive to move."
You all really think it's more expensive to live in Alabama, West Virginia, or Mississippi? Are you all certifiably insane? According to USA By the Numbers, Maine is the 11th most expensive state to live in. So, what exactly is keeping you all here?
Winter haters have three options here in Maine.
1. Move. We will not miss you all.
2. Wait for climate change to completely obliterate Maine's winter. That's probably at least a generation or two away.
3. Suck it up, buttercup. Embrace the cold, dark, and wet. Get a hot tub. Learn to ski. Hit some breweries. Learn how to not be miserable during this incredible season.
However, if you all want to just stay here, complain, and be miserable from October to April, then be my guest. It's a free country.
In the meantime, I will be embracing the season, supporting local industry, and living life to its fullest.