No, I am not the Walmart Greeter in Falmouth, Maine

It was a Friday and it had been a long, tiring week. It was the type of Friday that had you sighing on the way home thinking to yourself, “thank God it’s finally Friday”.

We are always excited about the weekend but sometimes we need it more than usual.

It had been such a tiring week that I couldn’t fathom the idea of having to plan out, cook, or even microwave a dinner. I called a local pizza place, ordered my usual small pepperoni and onion pizza, and felt a wave of relief at the thought of eating it in bed.

I had time to kill and pictured future Meghan in bed with a book wanting Flavor Blasted Goldfish to munch on. I pulled into the Falmouth Walmart simply to buy one bag of Goldfish and nothing more.

As soon as I closed my car door, my heart sank.

AAA Roadside Assistance to the Rescue

I don’t care if I am in the safest neighborhood on the planet, I will lock my car door. The door closed, my heart sank, and I peered into my window to find what I already knew: my car keys sitting on my driver's seat in my locked car.

This is not my first rodeo but it has been years since this happened. As a thankful member of AAA for 8 years, I quickly called their roadside assistance number as I walked into Walmart.

I stayed near the front of the store because if you know Walmart, you know there is no cell service in that store. I was frustrated speaking to a robot for 10 minutes before finally getting help but even though I was about to be rescued, it was going to take more than an hour for them to get there.

I was immediately rattled about how cold my pizza was going to be then realized I needed to kill time for an hour in my local Walmart.

Why Are They Handing me Their Carts?

It did not take long for me to grab my Goldfish and walk the few aisles in my little Falmouth Walmart. I picked up some extra things I didn’t need and took my sweet time window-shopping through the rest.

All I wanted was to sit down and I knew AAA would be there soon so I paid for my things, stuck them in my pocket because of course I didn’t bring in a reusable bag, threw away my receipt I never keep, then sat outside on a bag of pellets in the front of the store.

I quickly regretted that decision when I could see my breath in the cold air and I was absolutely freezing. I started to walk back inside the store and realized I had shoved my new belongings in my pocket and did not have a receipt.

Knowing that would look extremely suspicious, I stood in the entryway between the two sets of doors. You know, where the greeters who used to hand out smiley stickers stand.

I stood there trying to thaw while still being able to see the parking lot. Then, one by one as customers left the Walmart, people started handing me their carts.

What the hell?

I took them, confused, and put them over with the rest of them but then it just kept happening. People walking into the store would smile and say hello, which I just thought was polite, but then people were walking out of the exit handing me their carts and stalling wondering whether they needed to show me their receipts or not.

Then I realized, oh my, they think I’m the Walmart greeter! Hello people, I’m not wearing blue!

I was filled with relief when I got the text, “Your AAA service member has arrived” and I ran out to my car to be rescued. As if in a sitcom, fireworks literally started going off in the distance as he handed me my keys.

Yes, my pizza was cold as hell. No, I am not your local Walmart greeter.