NSFW: Look What Came With My New Pillow

I've been having trouble sleeping lately so I've been trying different things to try to help. I'm taking melatonin but that hasn't really done much for me. Then I thought maybe I should get a new pillow.

I'm a back sleeper, so I prefer a very firm pillow that holds its shape. I bought an $8 one that I thought would do the trick, but it goes flat very quickly, so Michele recommended I get a memory foam pillow. She's been known to give good advice more than once, so I went out and bought one this weekend.

It looks perfect. Sometimes I wake up and the back of my head is soaked from sweat so this looks like that it could solve that problem as well as be more comfortable, allowing me to sleep better.

I was all excited to bust into it, so I opened up the box when I got home, took out the pillow and found two cards inside.

One of the cards had instructions to let the pillow sit at room temperature for 24-48 hours to fully expand. That was a little disappointing since I wanted to use it that night, but I can wait a day or two.

This was the other card.

Um....what? I looked at the card for a few seconds and thought, "There's no way this has anything to do with my pillow, right?" When I flipped the card over, it turns out I was exactly right.

I won't go into all the detail of what was on the other side of the card, but it was written by an organization against circumcision and it listed all the reasons why, with several websites for more information. I can only assume someone jammed it into the box while they were in the store hoping the person who bought the pillow would read it. There's a cutout on the side of the box to allow you to feel the pillow through the plastic. That's probably how they accomplished their mission of spreading the word.

Yes, I saw the stain in the corner of the card, but my pillow was wrapped in plastic so it's all good. I'm not going to take it back or anything like that either. Just be on the lookout for penis cards the next time you go shopping.