This Man Has 10 Stupid Reasons You Shouldn’t Live in Maine

I get it, people have different opinions about where they like to live. If that weren't the case, we'd all be living on top of each other in one place while vast amounts of land lay untouched and unexplored. I respect that.

When your reasons for not wanting to live somewhere are straight up stupid, though, I'll go ahead and argue them. Which brings me to the following video uploaded by a man who apparently delights himself in prompting trolls. In his own bio, he claims to include mistakes in his listicle videos "just for fun":

Here is a secret to this channel, I add mistakes to all my videos. The reason for this is because some people need to find the negative in everything, they comment about a mistake and feel good about themselves for a minute or two. Seeing that comments help my channel, it's a win, win for myself and all the negative Nancy's [sic] in the world.[/pullquotes]

...First note, people who correct your mistakes aren't "finding the negative", they're keeping your videos honest. I'm gonna assume he doesn't take issue with fake news. I'll also assume he misspelled nancies on purpose as a prime example of his "planted mistakes". But I digress.

I'd address his reasons from most stupid to least stupid, but I suppose it's easier to go in order. I'll keep this brief, because his points are incredibly easy to protest.

10) We've got strange laws

Okay, the best "strange law" he can come up with is that you can get ticketed for having christmas lights up after January 14th and bullets cannot be used as currency? These both seem very fair. Can you imagine a lawless land filled with Christmas lights and paying for your Dunkin' coffee in ammunition?!

9) We've got the second highest rate of divorce

Well this one's easy in that it's blatantly false; we're ranked 23rd in the contiguous United States for divorce. Right smack in the middle. Sorry, bud. He's right that Nevada is number 1 though!

8) We're one of the least charitable states

I know he said he puts mistakes in his videos on purpose, but c'mon dude - false statistics don't count as "minor mistakes". According to Forbes' rating of charitable states in 2017, Maine ranks again in the middle of the pack, at 27.

Alternative facts aside - is he arguing that feeding deer is a good thing? You know that leads to a high concentration of desensitized deer happily waltzing into neighborhoods, towns, and roadways for a chance at some easy (and sometimes harmful) treats, right? Mainers know wildlife etiquette better than you do, sir.

7) We love seafood

First of all, you still have all your other options for food; we just have the best seafood to offer in addition to your regular food fare. Also, if you think you don't like seafood, it may be all the more reason to move here.Take it from a recovering "seafood hater": the seafood you've been trying - and hating - is certainly not up to par with our fresh fish feasts.

6) We have dangerous roads

From what I can tell, he's saying the fact that roads get snowy and icy in the winter is a valid reason not to live somewhere. More accurately, it's a reason *to move* here. Mainers have been dealing with winter driving conditions as long as we've inhabited this glroious land, which means we're as good as they get at clearing, sanding, salting, and driving on that sh*&. Take a driving class; the only one to blams here is yourself. Also, why do you think wildlife is flocking to our roads? BECAUSE YOU'RE FEEDING THEM, DUMDUM.

5) MOXIE IS GROSS

I agree. That's why I don't drink it. And yet, I live here quite successfully and find other liquids to quench my thirst. Ladies and gentlemen, how *does* she do it?!

4) Snow

Mmmkay, pretty sure we covered this one - as long as you know what you're getting into - layer up, know how to drive, walk carefully and watch for black ice, living with a notable winter is small potatoes, guy. Get over it.

3) Low population

Unless you live in the county, there are plenty of people around. I don't know how aggressively this man is looking to date, but I assure you there's a wealth of young people looking to find their soulmate. Portland is the perfect size, with enough people that you only occasionally run into someone you know, but comedians, artists, musicians and foodies flock to this city because it's a perfect hub for New England vacationers and culture.

2) Rent is expensive

Again, I have no clue where "Briggs" is getting his numbers. Maine's median gross rent is only $797. This is a better measure of rent rates as it cuts out the outliers, or exorbitantly  expensive vacation mansions - of which there are many on the coast. Basic statistics aside, this is .46% lower than the US average rent rate, and you can't argue with that. No matter how many times he tells me to "stop typing," I'm sorry, guy. I just can't let you spew these falsities out of your youtube channel. Do better.

1) Only old retirees move to Maine

For the first time in his video, "Briggs" actually sort of has a point. Maine's median age is 44.5 years, which makes it the oldest population in the states. What Briggs fails to mention, however, is that the main reason for our older population is that this doesn't mean that there's a huge old population here; there's just a lack of young population. Yes, some people retire to Maine but it doesn't even make the top-ten list for best states to retire to. Basically, we have an already low population, and Portland is the only "big city" in the state, meaning a solid number of young people move away for college and don't come back until they're settling down with a family. Basically, if you want to live in a college state with tons of yuppies and hipsters and babies crawling all about, Maine may not be your ideal place. But I moved here as a 27 year old and couldn't be happier.

In his defense, our jolly youtuber says it was legitimately hard to come up with reasons not to move here, so we'll give him a pass this time. Not on his false statistics, though. No matter how hard you try, it's impossible to come up with a valid argument for not moving here if you can. It's a truly amazing place and I count my lucky stars every day that I've ended up in this glorious state. That being said, don't tell anyone. We wanna keep it all to ourselves, right?