Now that Portland, Maine has become such a hot destination, there's bound to be some people who come visit the city and leave with negative feelings. There are plenty of places on the internet to vent those feelings, including a city-review website called But this particular review was shared on Reddit by sidewaysplanet, and we just want to know if YOU can make any sense of it.

A large portion of our brain feels like this is some sort of staged review for laughs. There's another, much smaller portion of our brain that believes this might have actually happened and the person who wrote this review isn't exactly a wordsmith. There's a lot to digest here, from finding out you're allergic to corn on the cob at a condo meeting to our strong desire to track down the man known as "loud boat Greg" and hear his side of this girlfriend-stealing story.

The biggest jam in this review though? The idea that whomever wrote this review sold their car before moving to Portland because a friend told them Portland had a subway. How do you miscommunicate so much that you mix up a multi-car subway system with a chain restaurant that makes sandwiches? So many questions.

Archive this for future sharing purposes in case you have any friends eager to move to our bustling metropolis.

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