An Open Letter to Canobie Lake Toyota in Salem, New Hampshire

Dear Canobie Lake Toyota,

First things first -- and this has absolutely nothing to do with your employee named Denise -- when did you change from Rockingham Toyota to Canobie Lake Toyota? Because I feel like it happened absolutely out of nowhere. Honestly, though, I'm here for it.

Anyway, I digress.

Last night while driving home from my show, I realized that I was due for a 35,000-mile checkup for my truck (which is clearly a Toyota, and which I purchased from your dealership -- brand loyalty for the win!). Also, by "realized that I was due," I mean every maintenance warning light ever except one that flashes "HEY IT'S TIME FOR A CHECKUP, BONEHEAD" flashed on my dash.

Also, don't take that as an insult -- those reminders are legitimately super helpful as opposed to realizing you're 5,000 miles overdue for a checkup, 10,000 miles overdue for an oil change, and every mechanic ever gives you that judging/disappointed look when you stroll in three months too late to get some work done.

But again, I digress.

I called your dealership last night while driving home to schedule an appointment for the checkup, and after a couple of rings, I heard, "Canobie Lake Toyota, this is Denise speaking, how may I dir---OUCH!!!"

And then I heard silence. And, honestly, I listen to way too many true crime podcasts that my mind immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion. But in all seriousness, part of me wanted to just ignore whatever had just happened to Denise and go about with a normal phone call.

But the part of me that was still wired from two massive cold brews earlier in the day couldn't let it go, and a massive batch of word vomit just fell out of my mouth, including asking Denise if she was okay, if she needed me to go down to the dealership to thwart off any criminals, and if she needed a bandaid.

The point of this letter, Canobie Lake Toyota, is this -- I don't know who Denise is and I've never actually talked to her in all the times that I've called to make an appointment, but I know that in the 2-minute max conversation that I had with her, she's a national treasure and needs to be protected at all costs.

Because, sure, the conversation immediately got derailed as soon as she screamed, "OUCH!!" on the phone -- which she actually apologized for because she's clearly the sweetest human being on the planet (even though no apology was needed) -- but when I spewed my randomness back, she could've just shut me down and sternly asked what I needed.

But she didn't. She rolled with it. And the conversation was literally one of the most unexpected and enjoyable quick conversations that I've had with any human in a while. Sure, I missed the service department entirely and had to call back this morning to schedule my appointment, but after a near 10-hour workday on my end, and what I'm sure was a long workday for Denise, too -- I just hope I put the same smile on her face that she put on mine from such a lighthearted and frankly, goofy conversation.

And, if anything, my interaction with Denise last night will be the reason that when I eventually move further away from your dealership like I'm planning -- employees like Denise and others on your staff will be the exact reason I make a long drive to continue to get my truck serviced at your dealership. So, in a wonky time for customer service, thank you for still putting your customers first above all else. It shows.

And also, maybe wrap Denise's entire workspace in bubble wrap so the poor thing doesn't hurt herself again. (But in all seriousness, I was glad to hear it was nothing serious that happened to her.)