Plenty of internet sellers have been known to exaggerate their product's quality; that's nothing new. But this classified ad for a tread mill located in Standish, Maine boasts the best promise yet: new and improved studly results! The ad reads:

Are you a stud? Do you want to be? Do super models ignore you? Do you make less than $300k a year? Do you wish you could change all that? Introducing the Studmaker 3000. Guaranteed to provide monotonous cardiovascular exertion as you suffer your way to physical perfection and tremendous personal wealth.

What's there to doubt? At a mere $50 and the effort to haul this magic machine yourself, this is a downright steal. Now if only it came with a funhouse mirror to enhance results...

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