There I was, standing at the Wallflower Collective bar in Burlington, Vermont, ordering my classic whiskey fix. It was Halloween night so my eyes perused the scene to take in all of the characters and costumes. As an avid people-watcher, Halloween-time is the ultimate time to stare and get away with it without being too rude.

I say “Halloween night” but what I really mean is that it was the Saturday of Halloween weekend so collectively as a country we all decided it was actually the official holiday. This just proves if we band together in numbers we really can make anything happen, time is arbitrary, and nothing is real.


As my eyes scanned the bar, I automatically came to a halt when a divine entity entered the room. Perhaps it was just the lighting or the whiskeys I had drunk prior, but I truly have never seen anyone quite this lovely.

You’re thinking to yourself right now, was it Elton John? Are you seriously attracted to Elton John?


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No, but I am attracted to a beautiful woman dressed as Elton John.

I broke my gaze as to not make her feel uncomfortable; I often feel like a hypocrite when I complain about men’s vexing stares but then proceed to do so myself.

The playboy bunny with chest hair handed me my drink and I turned around abruptly to find myself face to face with Elton John. She grabbed my hand and said, “you are the most beautiful person in this room.”

I know I’m a triple Leo but I swear I’m not making this up.

I went back to staring around the room except for this time I was looking for the camera crew and Ashton Kutcher. There was no way the newly found love of my life was approaching ME.

Within this moment of shock, her friends, who are all probably fine and kind people who I have chosen to despise, wanted to drag her out and go someplace else. We scrambled to connect but between her getting coerced to leave and me being absolutely and utterly stunned, we fumbled our chance to meet again.

In my confused and rattled state, I wrote my number in her notes app with no comment, no name, nothing. Just a random 207 number she will never find, remember, or contact.

If I woke up the night after going to the bars on vacation with a random number in my notes app without a name or description, nada, I absolutely would not reach out to the mystery digits. All I can do is hope that I will one day run into Elton John again in Burlington, Vermont.

I've learned a lot in my short little life and I added to my list of life lessons this past weekend: Don't give your private information to strangers... Take theirs instead.

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