Here’s How Not to Be An Arse on St. Patrick’s Day
St. Patrick's Day is one of New England's biggest drinking holidays. With the beer comes the buttheadery... here's how to avoid being everyone's least favorite person this Sunday.
1) Don't Get Blackout Drunk Before Noon
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Feel free to start drinking at 6am in the name of Irish tradition but get some food in ya first and don't have liquor until at least 3pm.
2) Be Mindful Of Your Surroundings
Bars are expected to be rowdy, but not everyone is going as hard as you are on Sunday. Be respectful of neighborhoods you pass through, family restaurants you stop into for lunch, and definitely don't drive anywhere if you're imbibing in celebration.
3) Don't Order Irish Car Bombs
In Ireland, car bombs were a real thing to fear when Northern Ireland was set against the United Kingdom-friendly South—they took many lives and tore families apart. Here, it's a type of shot popular among clubbers and frat houses made up of Guinness, Baileys Irish Cream, Irish Whiskey, and little to no awareness of its historical relevance. Be that as it may, it's a pretty inappropriate way of celebrating the Irish.
4) Stick to Beer
I know I said you could start drinking liquor in the afternoon, but I take that back. Stick to beer all day and you're less likely to end up in a gutter covered in a smelly mystery substance. Here's an idea: drink a beer you're not the biggest fan of and you'll get drunk even slower!
5) Tip your Bartenders
THIS IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Our poor servers in bars, clubs, and restaurants are probably working a day they don't typically have to, wish they were out with their friends, and are having to deal with you and your drunk-ass friends. Be friendly, be patient, thank them profusely, and TIP WELL.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!