Let me not even bury the headline -- it's me. I'm the "Maine man." Because there's no possible way what happened to me flying home last weekend was real life. It's absolutely impossible and I refuse to believe it. Also, let me be clear since I once had the entire city of Chicago, Illinois heated at me -- this is not Chicago's fault. And it's not American Airlines fault too since the "in" thing right now is crapping on airlines.

Chicago weather on Sunday

If you watched any NFL games on Sunday (or turned off the Pats game since they played like absolute suck), you may have seen it looked like the Chicago Bears were playing in a monsoon. Can confirm since I spent a good chunk of the day looking at torrential downpours at O'Hare (after a delayed flight to Chicago because of said weather.) But it was after a 2 1/2 hour delay to actually board the flight where I'm convinced the reality show filming began.

Super young flight attendants

Honestly, at a point in time where it seems like no one wants to work, I have to give massive props to the flight attendants on my flight into Manchester, New Hampshire from Chicago, because they were legit fetuses. But fetuses that want to work. Jose and June are 19 and 20, respectively. And it definitely showed when they hopped on the plane intercom after a good few minutes of us hanging out on the tarmac after boarding.

"Sooooooo, we're delayed. I think we're missing the pilot or something, I don't know. I honestly didn't even think this flight supposed to happen today, y'all. They just called me in so I came in and I don't really know what's happening."

That was June, who followed that announcement up with about a five-minute monologue of his entire life from birth to that very moment. Mind you, this is all after Jose was already on the intercom telling us that technically the airplane has two bathrooms, but only one was going to be usable since someone blew up the other one. No lie. Legit an announcement.

Missing Pilot

About 45 minutes after Jose and June announced the pilot was about 15-20 minutes out, he finally boarded the plane and announced he had legit just landed a previous flight and ran through the airport to hop on our plane, and just needed to complete paperwork and we'd be in the air. Cool, right?

Would've been, if that's how it actually went.

Literally minutes after the pilot came over the intercom again and said we were all good for push-off from the gate, he hopped on again (which was lovely considering after saying we were going to push-off, we didn't move a centimeter) and said that we were going to be delayed leaving the gate because something happened with two planes behind us in the gate.

Naturally, that's when half the plane looked at each other and realized what the date was -- September 11. But thankfully, it wasn't anything like that.

American Airlines and Southwest Airlines

Apparently, while taxiing themselves to the runway and passing each other, an American plane and a Southwest plane clipped wings, which was the entire cause of the delay. Another 45 minutes or so after the pilot made the original announcement of the two-plane incident, the tarmac was flooded with five different Chicago fire trucks and two O'Hare security vehicles.

That's when the pilot hopped back on and said that an investigation would need to be conducted surrounding what happened with both the American and Southwest planes, and he had no clue how long that would take because he had never experienced it happening before. So, annoyed as I was at another delay, I appreciated the honesty.

So, to pass the time, Jose hopped back on the intercom and decided to host trivia. Legit. A random game of trivia with flight attendants running up and down the aisles handing out -- some kind of prize. Maybe nips of whiskey for the already super drunk group of passengers in the back who somehow talked from the second we boarded the plane to the second we eventually landed in Manchester five hours later without taking a breath (maybe that last sentence is pure jealousy, though.)

Thankfully, the investigation didn't take long (or they at least got the planes out of the gate to conduct the investigation somewhere else) and we were up in the air about another 30-45 minutes later, and eventually landed at 8p. Props to the pilot, first officer, and Jose and June for holding it down with every single nonstop obstacle that kept being thrown in our direction.

But seriously. There's no way that was real life. That had to be some kind of reality show/sitcom filming.

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Keep reading to find out individual state records in alphabetical order.

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These great spots can be found across the state, and waiting for you to give them a try.

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