Open Letter to the Woman Who Broke Into My Garage and Car

Dear Woman who decided to contribute to a dumpster fire 2020,

You didn't get far. Police caught you close to where we live. Police stopped you and called us. I was able to describe a flashlight you had ... because it was mine from my car. Sorry, it doesn't work. That's how they knew you were the thief.

I will say, I made it tempting because the ONE time I didn't lock my car was the night you decided to check to see who the idiot was who didn't lock their car. The idiot was me ... but that still doesn't give you the right.

You ransacked my car, stole some new Christmas presents, but left more than you took. You took some masks, too. To be honest, we almost didn't press charges. You took some clothing and masks. But then you took my garage door opener and decided to go into the garage and look around there too.

That's when your night, and ours, took a weird unexplainable turn. You took a cowboy hat that had some sentimental value and went out of the garage to the backyard. We saw your prints. Then you ... well, you decided to go number two IN the hat and leave it in our backyard. Not sure if you were trying to be respectful or if it was a complete "screw you." I truly don't understand. I think you may have been drinking, as my car smells like alcohol.

You were thorough. You went through everything. My side door pockets, my glove box, my center console, my bags of newly purchased Christmas clothes (I was hiding them from Jen.) You moved my seat back, you emptied my Kleenex box and took my little flashlights.

What you didn't take, I am forever grateful for. You did NOT take my laptop. You did NOT take my headphones. I went to work as though nothing happened ... but I felt weird. I felt off ... I felt bad.

I'm sorry that you felt you had to steal. But you can't do that. You can't go into someone's garage, backyard, car and mess with things. It's an upsetting year as it is ... and this just didn't help. I hope your 2021 gets better, I know mine can only go up.