It hit me recently that there are a lot of ways to sneeze. I thought there was only one way - my way. Nope.


Here are the ways I have found that people sneeze. Which one are you? Did I miss one?

  • Single sneeze - dry and quick: it's a quickie and usually has no squeak to it and if caught in elbow is your basic sneeze
  • Single sneeze - wet and loud: catch that in your elbow and you're gonna need to do laundry
  • Multiple sneezes: Lou always sneezes in 3's. Unless I say 'bless you' after two. Then she stops at 2
  • LOUD sneeze: the propulsion created by this sneeze would solve the world's energy problem
  • Squeak sneeze: some weird noise that sounds like you just stepped on your dog's squeak toy. Often referred to as the Barbie Sneeze
  • Stifled sneeze: the sneeze that the person thinks should NOT come out. Those people will implode one day. Sneeze for God's sake!
  • Uncovered sneeze: Come on! IN YOUR ELBOW!
  • Almost sneeze: worst sneeze ever! Your eyes water, you are almost there and then...nothing. Until it hits you while you drive and you damn near crash!


Okay...which one are you, and have I forgotten any? I am the single sneeze dry and quick (mostly). I have had some doozies that I felt like I should throw my shirt away after.


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