Dearest Local Mainers and Tourists Alike,

Most of you are wonderful, respectful, and understanding. But there's an obnoxious minority of you who need a wake-up call and I've dialed in and I'm ready to deliver.

There are countless posts and videos going around online if you people acting like children at grocery stores and restaurants because you refuse to comply with their mask requirements.

Popular bar/restaurant, The Brunswick, in Old Orchard Beach shared that their staff has been leaving shifts in tears because you can't seem to grasp how to act in a respectful or reasonable manner. How do you sleep at night knowing you're such a garbage human that you're making these people who have likely been out of work for MONTHS feel like dirt simply for doing their job? It's honestly pathetic and I truly pity you and your obviously miserable existence.

And let me note here that I'm a liberty lover through and through. If you truly believe that wearing a mask is infringing on your rights, take it up with the government. Not these businesses just trying to stay afloat and especially not their employees who are, again, just trying to do their jobs and put food on the table for their families.

Here's the thing. It's been wicked hot lately. I really wish I didn't have to wear a shirt. They can be a tad stuffy but many stores have those NO SHIRT NO SHOES NO SERVICE signs. I'm not gonna barge into the convenience store girls-a-flyin' demanding they sell me an Arizona Iced Tea and scratch tickets and then screech "MUH FREEDOMS" when they tell me to come back in with a shirt. That's silly. Businesses can serve and deny service to whomever they choose. Because, you know, freedom.

And I, as a consumer, can go elsewhere or put a shirt on.
Just like you can go elsewhere, or put a mask on.

If you received a stale box of Girl Scout Cookies you wouldn't berate the little girl you got it from, right? That's you in this situation. You're the kind of person who bullies an innocent child over cookies they had no hand in creating or packaging. They just want to raise money as they were told.

Look, I'm not saying you should or shouldn't be super jazzed about the mask requirement. Truly, I hear you. It's a nuanced conversation worth having. What I'm saying is you need to channel your juvenile rage elsewhere.

So get a mask or stay home and take the fight to those in power. Be cheeky if you want. There's a face covering for you out there, I promise.


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